My options were the big city 3 hours away. I would pay $200/day for a taxi to visit him and would not visit daily. Option 2 was stay an hour away - pay $100/day and still not visit daily. Or I could stay onsite. The director was open to my staying there but did not think I would be capable. There was not running water. No microwave, no stove, nothing. I agreed to try it for 2 days. Or facilitator was coming back Friday to pick me up to take me to the city an hour away to do paperwork.
We took the social worker back to her office a half hour away and picked up some bottled water for me and some raman noodles and candy for the kids then they dropped me off. Robert and the facilitator drove 12 hours back to Kiev to the airport.
I got to visit that night from 4-6 and then after dinner. That 4-6 visit was horrible. He wanted to return to the place he lived before going to the "Happy House" He has several friends there. He obviously ran the place when he was there and would have nothing to do with me. When I said it was time to go he took off and refused to come with me. As I pushed the issue that we were leaving he became more defiant. Finally a caregiver stepped in and told him he needed to go with me. I carried him out and put him in his wheelchair and started to push him back to his place. He saw the "dinner train." He went ballistic! It was awful. He started screaming, hitting, kicking, he turned and started to bite me as I was pushing the wheelchair, then started putting his leg in between the wheel and the chair to stop it and spit at me. He dove out of the chair and took off. I caught him and tried to carry him and push the chair. He kept trying to headbutt me, spit and bite. I left the chair and carried him back to his place for his dinner, returned the chair and went to my dinner.
I cannot begin to describe how hard that night was! I was alone, no way to communicate with anyone, no Internet, no way to talk to anyone. I had no running water, the outhouse was over a block away and it was just a whole in the ground. I cried more than I ever have. I also did a lot of praying. I knew the obvious physical handicaps he had. I was not prepared for everything else. Physically he is a mess. Missing the limbs he is is nothing compared to everything else. Both hips are dislocated, neither shoulder works, he has severe scoliosis, his rib cage/ back are severely deformed, his jaws do not line up, he does not seem to chew his food, he has speech issues, his eyes cross, the one "knee" he has goes back and forth both ways and to top it off he is severely delayed mentally and was quite mean.